When we enter a relationship, it is our desire to unify with our significant other. Most times we put aside our own individual needs as we begin to blend into a single entity with our partner. Often, we merge together in a relationship rather than maintaining our unique qualities. The danger in merging together in a relationship is losing the unique qualities that made you who you are. Many instances as the relationship progresses one or both individuals may discover that they have sacrificed too many of their personal needs to please the other. They may feel they have lost themselves in the process of unifying in their relationship. To re-assert themselves to their own individuality, your partner may feel rejected, abandoned or threatened. Couples should be able to maintain their personal space without the other feeling slighted or neglected.
The society that we live in can be very self-centered. Generally, when we see people who only focus on themselves we call them selfish. However, there is a significant difference between taking care of yourself and being selfish. Being selfish is generally defined as being concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself. It means that your only concentration is your own pleasures and well-being without regard for others. While it is important to state one’s needs and to maintain one’s own sense of healthy self-expression, it is helpful to the wellbeing of your relationship to do so in a manner that considers the needs of the other person.
In a healthy relationship, each partner works to develop the best Self that they can be; they devote time to their individual hobbies, focus on their own personal growth and goals, and maintain friendships outside of their relationship. No one should be made to feel like to have a successful relationship; you and your partner should be” joined at the hip”. Not giving your partner the space that they deserve and require can have some very damaging consequences. When you don’t allow INDIVIDUALS to be who they are, you usually end up dealing with some form of rebellion or sneakiness. People will find ways to do the things that they want to do with or without your knowledge.
Building yourself is just as important as building your relationship. A thriving and healthy couple knows that being able to keep your own identity does not take away from being in a successful unified relationship.